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At the lower end of the rapids (our Indians refusing to gofurther), we had to debark. A settler here was putting up azinc house for a store. Two others, with an officer of theMounted Rifles - the regiment we had left at the Dalles -were staying with him. They welcomed our arrival, andinsisted on our drinking half a dozen of poisonous stuff theycalled champagne. There were no chairs or table in the'house,' nor as yet any floor; and only the beginning of aroof. We sat on the ground, so that I was ablesurreptitiously to make libations with my share, to theearth .
According to my journal: 'In a short time the party began tobe a noisy one. Healths were drunk, toasts proposed,compliments to our respective nationalities paid in the mostflattering terms. The Anglo-Saxon race were destined toconquer the globe. The English were the greatest nationunder the sun - that is to say, they had been. America, ofcourse, would take the lead in time to come. We disputedthis. The Americans were certain of it, in fact this wasalready an accomplished fact. The big officer - a genuine"heavy" - wanted to know where the man was that would givehim the lie! Wasn't the Mounted Rifles the crack regiment ofthe United States army? And wasn't the United States armythe finest army in the universe? Who that knew anything ofhistory would compare the Peninsular Campaign to the war inMexico? Talk of Waterloo - Britishers were mighty fond ofswaggering about Waterloo! Let 'em look at Chepultapec. Asfor Wellington, he couldn't shine nohow with General Scott,nor old Zack neither !'
Then, WE wished for a war, just to let them see what could do. Mounted Rifles forsooth!
Mounted costermongers! whose trade it was to sell 'nutmegsmade of wood, and clocks that wouldn't figure.' Then somepretty forcible profanity was vented, fists were shaken, andthe zinc walls were struck, till they resounded like thethreatened thunder of artillery.
But Fred's merry laughter diverted the tragic end. It wasagreed that there had been too much tall talk. Britishersand Americans were not such fools as to quarrel. Leteverybody drink everybody else's health. A gentleman in thecorner (he needed the support of both walls) thought itwasn't good to 'liquor up' too much on an empty stomach; heput it to the house that we should have supper. The motionwas carried NEM. CON., and a Dutch cheese was produced withmuch ECLAT. Samson coupled the ideas of Dutch cheeses andYankee hospitality. This revived the flagging spirit ofemulation. On one side, it was thought that British mannerswere susceptible of amendment. Confusion was thenrespectively drunk to Yankee hospitality, English manners,and - this was an addition of Fred's - to Dutch cheeses .